


Paperwork

by akanyanen



Category: Japanese Actor RPF, Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-07
Updated: 2010-07-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 03:11:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12289980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akanyanen/pseuds/akanyanen
Summary: For travelingpsycho~ because she wrote me ryo/uchi ninjas and I reciprocated with silly spies~There is no action, just ridiculousness~~Reposting from LJ.





	Paperwork

**Author's Note:**

  * For [travelingpsycho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/travelingpsycho/gifts).



The start of their partnership (retraining, Ryo stresses) is rough, to say the least. Uchi hates doing his paperwork—one of the few things he doesn’t (completely) fail at. Paperwork—Ryo has figured out—is a good way to annoy Uchi. Just as long as Ryo brings his headphones or earplugs so he can tune out Uchi’s whining, dramatic sighing, pencil taping and many other ways Uchi annoys him (on purpose, Ryo is beginning to suspect). 

Ryo’s learned from the mistakes he made early on (or so he thinks) and he won’t find himself in his office at two A.M. the day before a debriefing meeting doing Uchi’s paperwork again.

****

 

1\. Bribery

“You haven’t had a real weekend off in, what, four months?” Uchi leans back in his chair and throws his feet up on his desk.

“Two years.” Ryo looks wary, sitting behind the piles of paper covering his own desk.

“If I said I could get you a weekend off--“

Ryo snorts, “I’d say I don’t believe you.”

Uchi reaches into a desk drawer and pulls out something that looks like a plane ticket. Ryo pauses.

“Really? Because I have a plane ticket to Hawaii for not just a weekend but a weeks leave,” Uchi beams and Ryo looks skeptical.

“Did you buy that yourself?”

“No, you think I’d pay that much for a little bit of paperwork done?” Uchi scoffs.

“No,” Ryo says slowly, “but why would the higher ups, suddenly, decide to give me the vacation I’ve been asking for, for three years?”

Uchi just shrugs, “I have my ways.”

Ryo looks suspicious, “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Uchi pouts, “you just have to have your work done and the paperwork I need finished this week.”

“Let me get this straight. You’re bribing me with a vacation—that I’m not sure is actually a vacation—because you don’t want to do your paperwork?”

Uchi gets up and stretches, “Yeah, but if you don’t want it… I guess I’ll just go back and tell them you’d rather not take time away from work.”

Uchi makes to leave and gets halfway to the door before Ryo’s tired, “Wait. Fine, it’s a deal…” stops him.

Ryo thinks he is going to regret this.

Uchi beams, “Great!”

***

 

Ryo should have known better.

"I said you could stay here in the hotel and I'll take care of things."

"......" Ryo fumbles with his tie.

"...It could have been a vacation but you're stubborn and like being overworked."

A pause.

“I’m never doing your paperwork again, Uchi.”

“Come on Ryo it is Hawaii, enjoy yourself!” Uchi flings open the curtains and the ocean peeks out over the tops of buildings.

“Uchi, I was thinking my vacation would involve alcohol and girls in bikinis. Instead I get chasing around drug lords who’re smuggling cocaine into Japan. Also, dealing with the US government—don’t, just, don’t,” Ryo sighs, trying to fix his tie.

“Well, technically the drug lords do have alcohol and I bet there will be slutty girls in bikinis there,” Uchi whines, “I told you I would take care of things.” 

Ryo rubs at his eyes, “….Uchi, I know what happens when you ‘take care of things’.”

Uchi pouts, “you’re too stubborn, Ryo-chan.”

Ryo groans when his tie refuses to cooperate and pulls it out to start again.

He should have known better.

2\. Falling Asleep

It’s only one of the more (most) important meetings they have to do go through after the disaster of a mission they went on. Ryo is still frustrated and annoyed from that wonderful experience.

There has been this uncomfortable tension in their office all day. Uchi hasn’t said much and Ryo has barely said anything at all.

“I want to read over your report, email it to me, “ Ryo doesn’t look up from his computer and, thus, doesn’t see Uchi’s surprised face.

“Wait. Weren’t you writing that?” Uchi sounds genuinely confused and Ryo’s stomach sinks and he can feel the migraine coming on.

 

“No, Uchi. You were supposed to write the report,” Ryo snaps.

Uchi feels himself bristle, “No, I’m pretty sure you told me I wasn’t competent enough to do a good job on it so you might as well do it.” Uchi’s voice mimics Ryo’s and it is a little too accurate—even if Ryo doesn’t remember saying that.

They’ve never really had a fight before, more like Ryo would snap and Uchi wouldn’t take him seriously. It works because Ryo doesn’t really mean it all the time and Uchi brushes his blunt comments off easily.

Ryo feels the anger, frustration and stress (his superiors are not pleased with him) built up from the past month of working with Uchi overflow.

“No. You aren’t fucking competent at any aspect of this job and I should write it but then how in the fucking hell are you going to actually learn how to do this job. I’m not going to do your fucking job for you, idiot.”

Uchi says nothing and goes back to his computer and Ryo belatedly realizes he was yelling.

Uchi is clenching his jaw and Ryo can see the tension there and can hear the anger in the keyboard as Uchi starts typing. Ryo looks away when it seems like Uchi's eyes are suspiciously wet. 

Ryo is in the office for an hour before he can't take the suffocating atmosphere anymore.

"Getting coffee, want something?" Ryo doesn't--can't--look Uchi in the face and he is almost mumbling.

"No, thanks." Uchi's reply is curt and stiffly polite. Ryo thinks, maybe, he might have gone too far. 

Uchi recognizes it as a Ryo-apology but he isn't ready to forgive and forget yet. Ryo leaves, saying nothing, and it feels twice as quiet when Uchi can hear the low buzz of the air-conditioner and his own fingers punching the keys instead of Ryo’s grumpy said under-his-breath curses and the squeak of his chair. Uchi vehemently types, making as much noise as possible and turns up his music player. Now that Ryo is out getting “coffee” he can listen to whatever “shitty” music he feels like.

It’s been an hour, almost, and Ryo still isn’t back and Uchi has had enough time to dwell on what Ryo said. Uchi tries to rationalize it, Ryo doesn't really mean those things but they must be based on some sort of truth.

Uchi knows he isn't all that good of an agent but he wants this so bad and it is hard not to get emotional (read: tear up)—well, for him anyways—thinking that Ryo really thinks so low of him, like his superiors do.

He’ll just have to prove the assholes wrong.

Uchi gets halfway through the report before he gets tired—maybe he should have gone for the coffee—and is blinking away sleep. He has to remember to change the 'asshole's back to 'Nishikido-kun' before he prints this off. At least it cheers him up a tiny bit and gives him some sort of vindictive pleasure, even if it is immature.

Ryo is staring into his almost empty cup of coffee—his second, or was it his fourth? — and he thinks he should probably get back now. He still has work to do.

Ryo slips into the office and immediately grimaces at the music Uchi has playing.

“Uchi can you...” Ryo trails off when he sees Uchi slumped over at his desk. Ryo rolls his eyes, setting down the paper cup next to Uchi’s keyboard before he walks around Uchi’s desk. Grinning and biting back a laugh as he pinches Uchi’s nose closed. He then leans around the chair, sticking his finger in his mouth and shoving it in Uchi’s ear.

Uchi jerks backwards with a yelp, he flails and ends up elbowing Ryo in the stomach. Ryo grunts and doubles over.

“You deserved that,” Uchi says immediately, still half-asleep and then he frowns and rubs vigorously at his ear with his shirtsleeve. “That was disgusting,” he whines.

Ryo wheezes back at him. Uchi laughs and then it goes quiet.

Ryo shifts, looking awkward, “I brought you coffee, idiot. Drink it and finish the stupid report.”

Uchi looks sheepish, “Thanks…I didn’t mean to-“

Ryo interrupts, embarrassed, “Make sure you take out the ‘assholes’ too.” His face burns red and Ryo smirks, finally feeling like he has the upper hand on Uchi for once.

Ryo doesn’t apologize and Uchi doesn’t either but it doesn’t escape his attention that the pile of paperwork mysteriously disappears from off his desk.

3\. Whining

“Please?” Uchi looks at him with his pitiful face.

“…” Ryo shuffles paper around on his desk.

“Ryo-chaaaaaan, please!”

“Hmmm, No,” Ryo says resolutely.

“I just did all of the paperwork from the last mission, I need a break,” Uchi attempts a pitiful face. It doesn’t work on Ryo, at all.

“...Nope.”

“Just this once! I won’t ask you again,” Uchi whines.

Ryo says nothing and keeps typing.

“Ryo,” Uchi rests his elbows on the edge of Ryo’s desk, “Please, Ryo-chan.”

Ryo ignores him.

“I swear I won’t ask you again, please?” Uchi leans over the desk further, “Please, Ryo?”

Ryo sighs and slumps forward, head in his hands, “you’ll stop bugging me?”

“I won’t say anything else all day,” Uchi says excitedly.

Ryo laughs.

“Shut up! Fine. I won’t bug you about paperwork anymore?” Uchi sounds hopeful.

“Just this one time, never again,” Ryo warns.

“Of course,” Uchi grins, “You’re the best.”

Ryo grumbles, grabbing the papers from Uchi, and reassures himself that this is a one-time only thing.

 

4\. Trickery

“Ryo-chan?” Uchi draws out the sound of his name and it grates on Ryo’s frazzled nerves.

Ryo mumbles, “What?”

“Part five, subsection three. Would you say there was intent to kill?”

“He fired ten rounds at my head.”

“Alright,” Uchi says cheerfully and makes a show of writing it down.

Ryo goes back to his email inbox.

RYO. DON’T DELETE THIS, ASSHOLE!!!

Uchi.

Deleted.

0___________o Yasuda’s civilian clothes

Ryo chances a look; with emails from Shibutani-san he has a 50% chance of being traumatized and he’s curious enough to chance it today.

Ryo figures no one will ever figure out what Agent Yasuda’s real job actually is.

I know you’re checking your E-

Deleted.

“Ryo-chaaaaaaan.”

“How’s your paperwork coming along, Uchi?” Ryo smiles, he’s not helping him this time.

Uchi sighs, dramatically, and goes back to writing.

Ryo closes his browser and goes back to the incident reports covering his desk. One of these days he’ll see the top of it again.

“Ryo?” Uchi’s voice sounds hopeful.

“No,” Ryo says immediately.

“Alright, I won’t get you coffee then,” Uchi sing songs. Ryo pauses and looks like he is considering it.

“…how do I know you aren’t going to run off again?” Ryo looks wary.

“I didn’t run off,” Uchi protests.

“You were gone for two hours,” Ryo says incredulously. 

“You were gone for half of those two hours too,” Uchi sounds smug.

“I. Well,” Ryo does not pout, “whatever, just go get me coffee.”

“Should I give the barista your number since you were too chicken to do it last time?” Uchi grins at him.

“Get out!” Ryo chokes on nothing and throws his pen at Uchi as he leaves laughing. 

***

 

Ryo has coffee and is in a much better mood. He lets the cup warm his hands and he almost doesn’t mind the large mountain of crap he has been putting off.

“Hey, Ryo?”

“Hmm?”

Uchi kicks off from the wall and his chair rolls over to Ryo’s desk.

“What should I put for this section?” Uchi shoves the paper towards him.

Ryo mumbles, reading off the sheet and scratches at the back of his head.

“You need to write—“ Ryo glances up and sees Uchi’s blank face.

Uchi blinks and Ryo looks put upon, “I’ll do it, you’re wasting my time.”

“Okay!” Uchi concedes easily.

Ryo realizes after he makes it to the last page that he just did all of Uchi’s paperwork. Again.

“Thanks Ryo-chan, you’re the best,” Uchi grins and shoves the papers in a manila folder.

“I. Wait. You,” Ryo gestures weakly.

“Be back soon,” Uchi looks like he wants to laugh, the corner of his mouth twitches and he retreats out the door before Ryo can talk again.

Ryo curses and swears this is not going to happen again. Uchi tricked him into it and he’s going to pay.

5\. Accidents Happen

Uchi is entirely too happy for a person with a broken wrist. Ryo doesn’t question his grin after they’re discharged from the hospital, it could be that Uchi’s whining while the doctor set it is still ringing in his ears, and he’s a little suspicious but shrugs it off. Pain pills do make some people happy.

 

Ryo doesn’t realize why Uchi is so chipper the next morning when he walks in the office, late, and flops down in his chair.

 

“Good morning, Ryo-chan.”

 

Ryo mumbles back.

 

Understanding dawns on Ryo when the post mission paperwork, as well as an incident report for Uchi’s injury, is dropped off in their office, on Ryo’s desk, and Uchi’s grin doesn’t falter. In fact it gets wider and he might be looking at his broken wrist with fondness.

 

“Fuck,” Ryo says intelligently. Uchi broke his dominant hand.

 

“Thanks for doing that for me, Ryo-chan,” Uchi says brightly, “I’ll answer phones”—they don’t even get phone calls!—“and bring you coffee.”

 

Ryo glowers and thinks of a million things to say but can’t form the words to say them.

 

“I’d help you, but it really hurts to write,” Uchi lifts his arm and the ‘regret’ in his voice would be a lot more convincing if he didn’t start humming immediately afterwards.

 

Ryo wants to throw things.


End file.
